You Spin Me Right Round, Chicken, Right Round

I've moved recently (last year), and I'm still finding fun and interesting things in boxes in my basement. By 'fun', I mean, 'things I have no idea what to do with or where to store', and by 'interesting', I mean, 'why the hell did I buy this in the first place?!'. I did, however, find the kit and all the accessories for my gas barbecue rotisserie attachment. How awesome! I shouted, to my dog, scaring him a little. I shall make a delicious, better-than-Costco rotisserie chicken!

Hey, guess what, we all know that Costco and those places sell those stupid birds so cheap to get people to come into their stores and spend $150 on green olives and box wine. And I figured, mine will be FRESH, it won't have been sitting under a heat lamp, and I can use whatever seasonings I want, and it will be AMAZING! I was super wrong.

First of all, the stupid #$^@!*& plain chicken cost me $12, and I think the local Costco here sells them for $7. This is Canadian dollars, so add an atrocious amount of tax probably, too, if you're not already horrified. Chicken here is EXPENSIVE. It doesn't give the average 4-year old boobs from excessive hormones, which is nice, but it's still a shock every time I go to the grocery. So in addition to doing all this extra work AND CLEAN UP (man, I HATE to do dishes), it was costing me more.

Mistake #1: I did not brine my bird (hee hee). I didn't even think about doing this. I didn't even realize I SHOULD have done it until I went back to look for the link I referred to, and the dude's blog came up with his nerdy bad self, and there was a post about it and it said BRINE. I just watched his video when I made mine (lazy, see?). And now I can't even find the video I watched, gah!

https://www.dadcooksdinner.com/rotisserie-chicken/


Mistake #2 - Even though all the instructional videos said to make sure to measure where the bird was going to end up (on the grill, space-wise), I forgot to do that and just threw it on there. No big deal though, I just had to adjust it a little.

Mistake #3 - Not measuring the drip pan before starting the cooking process. I had this great little edged drip pan, and the bird was too close to it, and I didn't want to take the grates off because I'd already pre-heated the BBQ. Note, I used a cookie sheet (an old one) and it was just fine. Better, maybe, because I ended up cooking these little beauties in the drippings, and they were the best part of the meal. Better than the stupid chicken. For the potatoes I did the trick where you pre-cook them a teensy bit in a microwave for about 7-8 minutes with a little olive oil and salt (covered in wrap). You can do this while you're prepping your bird. Ohhhhhhh THERE'S the Dad Cooks Dinner video, it was for duck. But I did his potatoes. I had picked up some nice cute little spuds from the Farmer's Market, and they were just begging for this treatment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LqCQlEFPGM

The other side dish I served was another Farmer's Market find, these beautiful pale carrots. I steamed them for something like 8-10 minutes (if you're still using that old-timey metal circular steamer, I highly recommend tossing it in favor of Oxo's silicone steamer or something similar), then tossed them in a pan with some butter and marmalade and thyme. The kid gave them a solid thumbs down, but I thought they were tasty, and the hint of sweet paired nicely with the potatoes and chicken.


And at last, there it was. It took 1.5 hours in total, in a preheated 350 degree barbecue. I did remember to rub it and season it while it was already on the spit, that was definitely a good tip. I decided to go with some 'Rotisserie Seasoning' I had tucked away in my pantry. Because hey, it was a rotisserie chicken, that made sense, right? And sure, the skin (the part I never eat because, ew gross, blubber) was tasty - but what's the point of that? The meat itself was cooked appropriately and was moist enough, but bland as hell. DAMN YOU, COSTCO, AND YOUR DELICIOUS CHEAP CHICKEN. You won this round.

Would I make it again? Maybe, if I did the brine. I'd like to do a salt-roasted pork loin I think. I'd love to do a turkey, but I would definitely have to take the grates off to get it to fit, and even then I'd like for someone to remind me to take some measurements before I start that whole process instead of halfway through it. All in all, it's more trouble than it's worth for what I got, and for what I can get at the store. Hey, I only burned myself once though, and it wasn't even from touching the hot spit! (I admittedly stuck my finger directly into the scalding drippings to see what they tasted like)
Question, could you make a gravy from this? I think so - but I didn't use a really salty rub or brine. So if you were in more of a mashed potato mood, I think you could get away with it. That would be the only other reason to do this yourself. But the dripping potatoes were so great, I'd always fight for those.