Definitely Not Authentic Beef & Broccoli

I like to cook a wide range of things, from traditional meatloaf to Greek to Mexican, but probably my favorite is anything Asian. I adore Thai noodles and soups, dim sum, sushi, really good fried rice with BBQ pork, pho, pretty much everything other than real ramen. I've learned I hate ramen. You know, the kind with super dark soy sauce and big gloopy fatty things floating in it, and eggs where they don't belong. It makes me gaggy to think about. I also really don't like Lebanese food. And I can do without most Italian dishes, but that's another story for another day.

Asian food, yes, and I like both authentic dishes as well as what we'd call American-Chinese food; sweet and sour chicken balls come to mind as the most offensive yet delicious. In Canada they serve a Honey Garlic spare rib that is like candy, and if you know Asian candy, that's just not right. Beef with Broccoli is one of those things that if cooked properly, is a terrific marriage of slightly tender-crisp bright green broccoli, melt-in-your-mouth salty beef, warm savory brown sauce, and of course it's all served over soft soak-up-sauce rice. When done poorly the meat is grey and chewy, the broccoli is grey and limp, and the sauce is flavorless. And probably grey.

I've struggled with stir fries for a long time. I tend to add liquids too soon, effectively steaming or boiling the ingredients instead of flash cooking them. I can never get the balance of ginger right, so lately I've just had to leave it out, otherwise that's all I taste. And there's some mystery mix of salt/sweet in Chinese takeout that strikes a perfect balance that is beyond my reach.

I decided to tackle this recipe, https://www.recipetineats.com/chinese-beef-and-broccoli-extra-saucy-take-out-style/, because it clearly said 'take-out style', and I definitely wanted my dinner to taste like it was poisoning me with MSG. It also had a very interesting step that, upon further research, a few other cooks seemed to know about THAT NO ONE EVER TOLD ME - to let your sliced meat marinate in a little baking soda.

I've been having a total love affair with flank steak for about the past year - it was a revelation to use it for fajitas (I'll now use no other cut of beef), and it makes an awesome bulgogi. It wasn't a big leap to go from there to this. If you don't already know the two things that a flank steak loves, it's this; always slice it across the grain, and always use some sort of marinade or rub that's going to help break down the proteins and soften it up for you. Oh, and if it's fully thawed, pop it back in the freezer for a bit to make slicing it easier. What I did was take it out of the freezer before starting work, and then on my lunch break I did some prep, and it was the perfect slicing temperature. Look how gorgeous that big hunk of juicy red meat is! This is obviously not one of the requested vegetarian recipes. Maybe pretend it's red tofu?

The notes warned me that the meat would go some weird bright red color, but I didn't notice a change. Maybe I did it wrong? Maybe I didn't use enough, or let it sit long enough? All I know is, it was super gross washing my meat. And that sounds REALLY dirty.
The rest of the prep was easy enough; cut up the broccoli into bite-sized pieces, make the sauce, start some rice.

I mentioned I like rice, right? My everyday rice is a basmati that I buy from my local Asian market in something like 10-lb sacks. My preferred method of cooking, after giving away my rice cooker and eating nasty microwave-cooked rice, is to bring it to a boil (2-1 ration water to rice, with a pinch of salt), and then turn off the heat, leaving it sitting on the burner for 15 minutes as it cools to finish cooking the rice. Note, this would not work the same with a gas stovetop! The residual heat is needed for a nice low slow finish.
I also have jasmine rice, which is what I made to serve with this, and brown jasmine, which my youngest sister introduced me to, and wild rice WHICH I KNOW ISN'T RICE, and black rice, and orzo which is the only pasta I like because it's basically rice, and risotto, and sushi rice, and sweet rice for Thai sticky rice. Mmmm sticky rice and fresh mango. Oh, and I have some regular brown, and I think some blend that I apparently never use. I have a theory that for me, rice, like potatoes, converts immediately to sugar and gives me a little kick, and that if I were smart I'd stop eating them and would lose like 50 lbs overnight. I already mentioned I'm not that smart.

Long story short, I thought the Five Spice gave it a slightly weird smell despite the fact I used even less than called for, if possible. I would go even more bland, and bump up the garlic and dark soy sauce to make up for it. I doubled the sauce, which was smart, because I had a ton of meat and green. The kid shockingly gave it two enthusiastic thumbs up and is taking leftovers to school tomorrow. AND asked me to make it again! So, there you go.

I’d definitely make it again with the above changes. And I’d let the broccoli cook a little longer.

OH! I almost forgot! The meat thing TOTALLY worked! I for real could not believe the difference. The kid even noticed. Like, melt in your mouth. Fascinating.